Men,

I am far from an expert on the matter of relationships, but there is one lesson I feel confident in passing along, and would share with my younger self in a heartbeat if I could:

The most important mental skill you can have as a man, especially if you’re single and struggling to find the path to love, is the ability to convert all negative energy into a positive—and more specifically—the obsessive focus on building yourself.

Building your body.

Building your mind.

Building a business.

It doesn’t really matter…as long as you are UPGRADING in some way.

Put differently, when you catch yourself moping about that girl you let slip away—or just feeling lonely in general—you need to sharpen the habit of quickly redirecting that dragging mentality toward increasing your masculine characteristics.

When you do this effectively over a long period of time, not only do you (obviously) improve in whichever areas you place focus on, but your value in the dating marketplace will increase as well, as women treasure nothing more than a man who can weather a storm, and come out stronger on the other side.

If, as previously mentioned, the primary source of the negative energy you’re battling is the emotional aftermath of a past relationship, I’ve got great news for you!

By redirecting all of this negative energy toward positive growth, your value—and therefore the quality and quantity of the female attention you will receive in the future—will INCREASE!

Two birds with one stone at its finest.

Regardless of if you even have a clear goal in mind for what you want in the future relationship-wise (rekindling things with the past lady, getting over her and finding someone better, etc.)…as long as you just prioritize and LOCK DOWN the mental framework that all negative energy gets converted into positive work on yourself, your outcomes will improve no matter how the puzzle pieces of destiny may fall.

See, unlike men (who desire the feminine characteristics of beauty, softness, and youth among all else), women desire maturity, hardness, and mental fortitude.

You’re not helping yourself in any of these areas when you sit around and whine. On the flipside, you help yourself in ALL of them when you glue your nose to that grindstone.

What that means is, us men have an enormous privilege that women do not. As long as it’s spent wisely, TIME works with us, rather than against us. As I explained in my recent post, Men Are Invisible When Young, Women Are Invisible When Old, women’s value in the dating marketplace drops precipitously with age, while men’s actually GROWS.

It is imperative that you do not waste this privilege, and make the most of that time by adopting the mental framework outlined above. It is far from a lifetime free pass…no amount of extra years will help you if you spend them drinking beer and playing Xbox.

Wrapping up this post with a few final thoughts…

Modern men deeply underestimate:

a) How easily you can train your mind (as long as your overall health is dialed in) to deflect negativity, and work FOR you as an asset toward building your best self, and realizing your most optimal future, let alone the immense happiness/fulfillment you will gain from that journey

b) How important this ability to turn bad into good is to WOMEN, who are searching for a man who is able to exhibit this strong, forward-looking mentality (have I mentioned it’s EXTREMELY rare right now?)

Nothing will help you more, both as an individual, and as a prospect for all the amazing women out there who are looking for a man just like you, who is able to become the master of himself and his surroundings.

Always be growing, whether it be in body, mind, or finance. You will never regret it.

-B